Diving into the world of Minimalism.

Recently I discovered the lifestyle/movement known as 'Minimalism'. 

I came across the blog 'The Minimalists' quite a while ago but it didn't hit home. Recently however, I've had two monumental shifts in my life and I've really been looking for some answers. These guys have now struck a cord for me. 

'The Minimalists' (Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus ) have dramatically stripped back their life, they own only what they really need and through their journey have found real happiness. 

I've watched and read so much about organising, but when I explored the minimalist vlogs and blogs it made me realise: If I edit out everything we don't really need I wouldn't need to be organising so much stuff. And it could make me relaxed and really happy. 

So here I go, this is my first week of working towards a more minimalist lifestyle, and I already nearly halved my wardrobe and chest of draws. (I had a lot of totally useless clothes). Bags of clothes for donation and others for the bin. 

To what degree do you become a minimalist?
I live with my husband and our baby and so my intention is that it really impacts me the most, my husband so far is along for the ride but probably not to the degree of where I want to get to, but thats totally fine. I don't like to overbuy for our baby, so its unlikely to impact him too much. We also utilize a toy library so that's really helpful. 

333 Challenge?
The 333 Capsule Wardrobe challenge is inspiring and actually something I'm inspired to work towards but for me this isn't a game or another source of pressure. Its just going to be a way of living. 

A different way of thinking about buying.
Already my way of thinking has shifted and I've become really aware of how I have been with buying goods. I have looked back at some of my shopping experiences and realised I've just looked for things to buy, rather than having items I need and looking for them. 

The next step?
Firstly - Continue to edit out any items I don't need.
Secondly - I've discovered the capsule wardrobe, which is a great idea. Having a workable wardrobe of clothes which all work really well together, but a limited amount. Only what you really need. 

My favourite way of shopping is researching online  and then buying in store. (Researching shops in my local shopping centre). I have my list and I know what Im going to spend and I head out to the store and try on the outfit and buy. Yes I actually buy in store. I don't want to return items. I want the right size and make sure it actually looks good on me. 

Its online research time!

Wish me luck! 

Six months on, ‘where are we now’?.

Six months on, we are back to our old lives, and my last step was heading back to work.  

Work seemed like a pretty big hurdle. It was the first group of people I left and the last I rejoined and therefore had the biggest run up. (Anticipation can be exhausting. )

I was lucky that by the time Christmas came I was recovered enough to meet the group for drinks after their Christmas lunch.

(Above) New year celebration with lanterns on Thai beach

In the new year I went in for a hand over and it was oh so very weird to be back in the office even for those few hours.

First day back to work was very strange. It was pretty sad to be doing my normal trip in, under the circumstances. It wasn't how it was supposed to be.

The first week was fine, but I truly under estimated how overwhelming it would be to finish on the Friday. Actually, I was caught off guard to be overwhelmed at all.  Completely unexpected. I had an overwhelming wave of sadness which I couldn't understand.

I let that wave hit me and I rode it, and as with all waves I came out the other end and stood tall again, and  then went back to work . Those waves can be horrible, its sometimes illogical, hard to explain, yet its so powerful its impossible to deny and push aside. It can be a wave of devastation, anger, sadness or any emotion really. And the triggers of the wave can be unpredictable

I feel like I have a filter on at work. I’m a different person, just enough to notice. 

I’m not the same person that left. I’ve been through hell.

I  have wondered if my experience of getting back to life is something like soldiers feel when they come back from war. I’ve seen and experienced life and death. I’ve walked that fine line. We made life and death decisions for someone so innocent. 

Soldiers however don't go to war assuming they are going to have the most amazing experience though. I did. It was to be one of the most amazing life changing moments. It was life changing though, the moment the AFE hit me turned our lives around and had us facing something no parent should ever experience.

(Above) One of many beautiful sunsets in Koh Tao

Back on track now. We are doing well, healthy, and I’ll admit it. We are happy. We have our moments here and there, but we are happy and strong. I truly believe we have done everything that seems right for our little angel girl. We have honoured her and I make a point of taking a moment for her during truly beautiful moments that life brings us. I don’t want to just think of her when im overcome with sadness. I want her to be able to take pleasure in the beautiful things. I think that might seem strange to some people but you do what ever you can to make things seem right .

You have to remember, I'm still Chloe’s mother. I still want good things for her. Those hormones mothers get to look after their babies.... don't just shut off. 

I thought i'd include this picture (above) It was hard to even decide to hold Chloe. Here I am before we are to take off life support. I was terrified to hold her, it would be the first and last time. I thought it would be such a traumatic event. I'd only met her a couples of times before. But of course, these are moments you can't have over. And its one of several moments i've had to 'suck it up' because its just the right thing to do. Again, you do what you have to do. I now understand, being a mother/parent is one of the hardest jobs of all.

We have hopes for another baby, I just pray with all my might that our next baby is able to appreciate those simple things in life that Chloe never got. 

Appreciate the small pleasures life brings you.......'don't sweat the small stuff'.

K.

Welcome to 2013. Here's to a great year!

During Christmas we were in two different countries and had two flights during, and that was just fine. We brought in the new year in Thailand with wonderful friends.

We had some wonderful experiences connecting on a new level visiting many temples and taking a moment for out little girl Chloe.

Making Chloe's mark in Thailand

It seemed more comfortable to walk into a Buddist temple and pray/ wish/ hope than a church back home. They are such welcoming spaces. We were even blessed by a monk. Such a wonderful experience.

Diving Koh Tao

One experience which was really great was diving. A difficult dive, but i actually enjoyed it. A great dive master and my husband by my side. I had actually enjoyed the dive during some of the worst conditions the dive masters had seen in quite a while. It was such great confidence booster.

Experiencing being strong certainly made me feel strong.

K

After loss – getting back into the world of babies and pregnancy.

Initially, after we came out of hospital we of course knew we wanted to try for another baby soon, but it would be 6 months away, and we were grieving. So baby/kid stores were avoided, facebook was soon avoided due to friends having successful deliveries. All my favourite movies where stories of pregnancies and 3 months on I am still avoiding. Certainly labour stories I avoid like the plague now.

3 Months on, how have things developed?

Well I have met a dear friend’s baby girl. Hearing of her successful  birth ( no details, just that she had had her little girl) was a very difficult time for us, so it was quite a big step to meet this special little girl. Thankfully its been a wonderful experience and I am soaking up all the hugs I can. This certainly took out the sting for me, so other little babies were not so scary, and I slowly started to creep back into baby stores.

I had a voucher for baby bunting, a voucher I had been looking at in despair since arriving home. So I finally made the decision to go and find a gift I could buy for our next baby. I spend 1 hour in the store, seeing pregnant women, newborns and looking at all items in the store. Another hurdle done!!

Chloe is very much respected, honoured and I have made some art for her and our little family. I have picked up a few necklaces to keep her with me always and we have had little 'Chloe rings' made up for my husband and I. 

I don't think i'll be able to watch or hear about labour stories as I used to, but I'm grateful to be able to think about our next baby, nicknamed LB with fondness and excitement. 

K

When to TTC? / The planning begins

Here are some of the things I am looking at, to plan another little baby.

Bloods – checking that all my vitals are healthy particularly since being so ill in hospital.

Bloods – checking that all my prenatal  vitals are good – these include resilience to viruses such as measles and tetanus etc. I already had injections for these for my previous pregnancy but we still want to check that I am protected. There is a whole list of items to check on and get up to date.

Simply ask your doctor and have a chat about planning for a pregnancy. Its smart to think about genetic conditions within your family.

Fitness -  making sure my body is fit and strong to carry a little one. It takes a lot of energy to be pregnant, it can be really exhausting. With back problems it had previously been a concern for me, however I made a real point of getting fit, jogging and doing clinical pilates specifically to get me strong and keep me strong for my pregnancy.  I believe it was all this and my positive attitude that helped, and in the end I was able to move around with great ease during labour to which the mid wives were actually quite impressed.

Folic acid – I have been on Elivate for many, many, many months. Part of the reason I am on it since hospital is because of it being essentially a multivitamin, but as a woman who is planning for pregnancy it is important to start this.

And my opinion on is it ok to have a little caffeine or/and a little alcohol? There is only a small amount known about the affects of alcohol on a foetus. What is obvious is that excessive alcohol consumption during pregnancy is going to have a negative affect on a foetus/baby. Less is definitely best!

What I did whilst pregnant with Chloe was basically abstain completely. I did try the occasional wine as we had several weddings during the period but I couldn’t stand the taste (thankfully). All in all I basically didn’t drink. When I needed a stress relief I used other methods of relaxation. Walk, talk, making nursery art, massage, hot shower. And because caffeine really doesn’t affect me a great deal I thought there was no point in drinking it.

So why the bloods, injections, vitamins and fitness regime? Well because I believe that it is my responsibility to give my baby the very best start in life.

So we shall see how the results go, fingers crossed!

When to start trying? For a c-section its important to wait for at least 6 months as this is when the wound has well and truly healed. I think it is also smart to wait till after the 3 month mark as when you have had a loss, its apparently more difficult if your babies share the same month as a birthday & anniversary. Many women naturally want to rush into another pregnancy, however I do want to get started when I'm in good health, good fitness and have a healthy mental state. I certainty don't want to make the pregnancy difficult (mentally or physically) and facing a delivery in the same month as Chloe's anniversary could be stressful.

K 

VBAC Vs C-SECTION

I've been thinking a lot about which option of delivery I would like for our next little blessing. After the trauma of almost dying during labour and our little angel passing, I know the next delivery will be all together different. (As will be the pregnancy) Knowing there is a possibility of delivering naturally confuses the situation somewhat. Either way I can make positive. 

But when I look at my pros and cos below, I realised my main 'push' for having a VBAC would be my pride. But having a healthy baby definitely eclipses my pride. 

VBAC

C-SECTION

Positives - Mentally and physically I know I am capable of having a natural labour. The only thing stopping me from having a natural birth for Chloe was the embolism, i dilated to 10cms and started pushing. I can be very determined when i want to be I would be so proud. Negatives – Fear of trauma again/ fear that the baby may be affected by something else.

Positives - Far more guarantee /confidence that the baby will be born safely.  I can organised everything with family and friends for the day/for the week. Support from day 1. We can have an amazing 'last' dinner  I could go and get my hair done manicure/pedicure etc and make an event of the last few days before.   I don’t remember the c-section being an issue. (I had greater problems to deal with) I don't worry about it being particularly difficult.  Negative – No driving for 6 weeks, a little delicate for a while.

K.

Breaking through the pain barrier

There have been many times now that i have had to bull doze through the pain barrier. like a wall that seems impossible to get passed.

I have had to break through it during labour, dealing with intense grief, dealing with the negative thoughts associated with friends and family pregnant and having successful deliveries. The list goes on. 

I really went through hell during and after delivery. I was lucky that i didnt die. Seems crazy to even write.

I am well out of the woods now. I am fit and healthy. So that pain barrier when i am jogging is quite insignificant. A- i have been through worse and B- i know for sure it wont kill me so push my way through it and I concur it.  

I can tell you the view once I do get there is always spectacular!

K

xox